Thursday, January 15, 2004
I think I'm missing the point...
I had phone sex this morning. And for the life of me, I can't explain why.
It went down like this: I was having a hard time sleeping, so I was actually up reading when some douche that I haven't talked to since we hooked up (2 months ago) calls me. At 5am in the morning.
He's drunk off his ass. He apparently just got in from a ski-boarding trip, and was thinking about me on the plane (yeah. right.). I preemptively inform him that he can't come over.
"Nah, nah, baby...I know...I just wanted to...well, you know...I was thinking about you...and, uh. Well..."
He wants to have phone sex. I hate phone sex. I explain to him why I hate phone sex.
I talk for a living. I have a low, throaty voice. Guys ALWAYS want me to have phone sex. It's annoying. And at some point, I end up running out of stuff to say.
But a) I was kinda horny. I'll admit it. b) I figured the quicker I got this guy off, the sooner he'd pass out and go to bed.
Don't ask why I didn't just hang up on him. I haven't figured that part out, myself.
So I begin to aurally pleasure. However, I forgot to consider how incredibly, ridiculously drunk this guy was. I didn't realize there was such a thing as "Phone-Whiskey-Dick."
It takes 2 hours.
Yeah, I had phone sex for two hours. In that time, he could have come over, fucked me blind, and been kicked out of my apartment already. Twice. And it's a 30 minute drive.
The worst part: While we both talked a fairly innovative, creative, and interesting game...I was the only one who ended up coming.
And after that, I suddenly didn't have any qualms about hanging up on him. Who knew, you can actually kick someone out of your bed over the phone.
That's just awesome.
It went down like this: I was having a hard time sleeping, so I was actually up reading when some douche that I haven't talked to since we hooked up (2 months ago) calls me. At 5am in the morning.
He's drunk off his ass. He apparently just got in from a ski-boarding trip, and was thinking about me on the plane (yeah. right.). I preemptively inform him that he can't come over.
"Nah, nah, baby...I know...I just wanted to...well, you know...I was thinking about you...and, uh. Well..."
He wants to have phone sex. I hate phone sex. I explain to him why I hate phone sex.
I talk for a living. I have a low, throaty voice. Guys ALWAYS want me to have phone sex. It's annoying. And at some point, I end up running out of stuff to say.
But a) I was kinda horny. I'll admit it. b) I figured the quicker I got this guy off, the sooner he'd pass out and go to bed.
Don't ask why I didn't just hang up on him. I haven't figured that part out, myself.
So I begin to aurally pleasure. However, I forgot to consider how incredibly, ridiculously drunk this guy was. I didn't realize there was such a thing as "Phone-Whiskey-Dick."
It takes 2 hours.
Yeah, I had phone sex for two hours. In that time, he could have come over, fucked me blind, and been kicked out of my apartment already. Twice. And it's a 30 minute drive.
The worst part: While we both talked a fairly innovative, creative, and interesting game...I was the only one who ended up coming.
And after that, I suddenly didn't have any qualms about hanging up on him. Who knew, you can actually kick someone out of your bed over the phone.
That's just awesome.
