Saturday, May 29, 2004
Vegas, baby!
I'm going to Vegas on Thursday. I've been giggling like an idiot for the past 3 weeks in giddy anticipation...
Things I'm planning on doing in Vegas:
*Go to the dirtiest, cheapest strip club in town. I want a sticky-floor-kind-of-place that reeks of desperation and that special stripper smell (a combination of baby powder, sugar cookies and perfume). Preferably, we'll be going during the afternoon, when the really sad strippers are dancing. Bonus: Lap dance from a crying 35 year old stripper!
*Lose a shitload of money. This will not be difficult. I'm the unluckiest person I know. That, and I always hit on 17. 'Cause I'm an idiot.
*Eat a 1&1/2 lb. hot dog at "Slots of Fun" (they're just 99cents!)
And most importantly:
*Get Married. I don't care who to, I just want to get married. Again. But this time in Vegas. Hopefully with an Elvis impersonator officiating. I dying to be able to say "My second ex-husband" before I'm even 30. Huzzah.
I don't think I'll be able to sleep for the next 4 days.
Which will be excellent preparation, considering I won't be sleeping for the 3 days I'm there, either.
Tee fucking hee.
Things I'm planning on doing in Vegas:
*Go to the dirtiest, cheapest strip club in town. I want a sticky-floor-kind-of-place that reeks of desperation and that special stripper smell (a combination of baby powder, sugar cookies and perfume). Preferably, we'll be going during the afternoon, when the really sad strippers are dancing. Bonus: Lap dance from a crying 35 year old stripper!
*Lose a shitload of money. This will not be difficult. I'm the unluckiest person I know. That, and I always hit on 17. 'Cause I'm an idiot.
*Eat a 1&1/2 lb. hot dog at "Slots of Fun" (they're just 99cents!)
And most importantly:
*Get Married. I don't care who to, I just want to get married. Again. But this time in Vegas. Hopefully with an Elvis impersonator officiating. I dying to be able to say "My second ex-husband" before I'm even 30. Huzzah.
I don't think I'll be able to sleep for the next 4 days.
Which will be excellent preparation, considering I won't be sleeping for the 3 days I'm there, either.
Tee fucking hee.
