Under The Wagon

Options for this evening...

Schuba's for a CD Release Party-
chance of getting drunk: 50%
chance of getting laid: 10%
chance of spending way too much money on cab fare to get there and back: 100%

Elbo Room-
chance of getting drunk: 99.8%
chance of getting laid: 40% (percentage increases exponentially when combined with above statistic)
chance I'll get harrassed by desperate, dirty band guys who think I came to see them play: 110%
chance I'll make an ass of myself, based on 99.8% chance of drunkeness: 100%

Staying home with a case of Old Style-
chance of getting drunk: 100%
chance of getting laid: 0%...big fat 0%
chance I'll make an ass of myself: also 0%

Decisions, Decisions.

Chance that I'm gonna go with Option 2: 100%
Yep. 'Cause I really am that stupid.