Saturday, November 15, 2003
November Sweeps
The November booty-roll-call is as follows:
Dave
Larry
Dave again
Jim
Larry again
No names have been changed to protect the innocent. They all have boring names anyway.
The break down comes in numerical order (numerals indicating how many times I've boofed each fella, respectively.)
1 (once) Jim: Massage Therapist. Built like a linebacker, New Agey like a mothafucker. Had one of those white noise things going in his bedroom, so it sounded like crickets swimming in a mountain stream all night. Informed me that as soon as he laid his hands on my shoulders he could "feel" that I was very confused. No shit, Sherlock. Which Chakra told you that? The one in the "I'm with Stupid" t-shirt? Furthermore, he called me twice this week (good), one day at 4am, the next day at 5am (bad,bad,bad).
However, the massage was good.
2(twice) Dave. Friend of a co-worker, met him on Halloween. Actually a very nice guy, we have a ton of things in common. Which of course means that I don't want to see him again. I really did try to give him a second chance. You know how sometimes you don't care if someone sees you without makeup, or unshowered, or smelling bad, because you just feel so comfortable with them? And with other people you're lax about appearance and hygiene because you just don't fucking care?
The latter applies to Dave. Poor guy. He's got a really comfortable bed, though. Feather bed, down comforter, expensive sheets. I could totally date Dave's bed.
Just not Dave.
3(thrice) Larry. Oh, Larry. Yes, I first banged--let's call it "nailing love to"--Larry when he was seeing someone else. And in my defense, I didn't know about the someone at the time, nor was I the only indiscretion on Larry's part. But recently the someone found out. And went completely, horribly, ape-shit. We're talking boil-your-bunny insane. So there's been a whole maelstrom of rumors and accusations, which Lar and I found fairly insulting. Not because she got the basics wrong (that we fucked), but because the details were all wrong (date, time, location). But the sense of indignation has actually worked out fairly well for me, since a)Larry's no longer seeing someone, and b) 'cause we were both so pissed at Slashy McPsycho that we've been humping like (boiled) bunnies. Good times.
And yes, I'm very aware that I've been riding the O-train quite a bit, and that it's only the middle of the month.
When it rains, it whores.
Dave
Larry
Dave again
Jim
Larry again
No names have been changed to protect the innocent. They all have boring names anyway.
The break down comes in numerical order (numerals indicating how many times I've boofed each fella, respectively.)
1 (once) Jim: Massage Therapist. Built like a linebacker, New Agey like a mothafucker. Had one of those white noise things going in his bedroom, so it sounded like crickets swimming in a mountain stream all night. Informed me that as soon as he laid his hands on my shoulders he could "feel" that I was very confused. No shit, Sherlock. Which Chakra told you that? The one in the "I'm with Stupid" t-shirt? Furthermore, he called me twice this week (good), one day at 4am, the next day at 5am (bad,bad,bad).
However, the massage was good.
2(twice) Dave. Friend of a co-worker, met him on Halloween. Actually a very nice guy, we have a ton of things in common. Which of course means that I don't want to see him again. I really did try to give him a second chance. You know how sometimes you don't care if someone sees you without makeup, or unshowered, or smelling bad, because you just feel so comfortable with them? And with other people you're lax about appearance and hygiene because you just don't fucking care?
The latter applies to Dave. Poor guy. He's got a really comfortable bed, though. Feather bed, down comforter, expensive sheets. I could totally date Dave's bed.
Just not Dave.
3(thrice) Larry. Oh, Larry. Yes, I first banged--let's call it "nailing love to"--Larry when he was seeing someone else. And in my defense, I didn't know about the someone at the time, nor was I the only indiscretion on Larry's part. But recently the someone found out. And went completely, horribly, ape-shit. We're talking boil-your-bunny insane. So there's been a whole maelstrom of rumors and accusations, which Lar and I found fairly insulting. Not because she got the basics wrong (that we fucked), but because the details were all wrong (date, time, location). But the sense of indignation has actually worked out fairly well for me, since a)Larry's no longer seeing someone, and b) 'cause we were both so pissed at Slashy McPsycho that we've been humping like (boiled) bunnies. Good times.
And yes, I'm very aware that I've been riding the O-train quite a bit, and that it's only the middle of the month.
When it rains, it whores.
# posted by Karla : 2:27 PM
