Under The Wagon

Men spend a lot of time trying to make women come. Not working to actually give women orgasms, but endless hours researching hidden gem techniques…Those holy grail moves that will have the chilliest ice queen screaming their name in utter surrender. “Research” in this case usually refers to getting drunk at the bar while your college buddies describes the classic “Come Here” move.

“Come Here” is an elementary method of g-spot location. Your index finger is inserted (facing up), and then you crook it toward yourself as if to say “Hey, come over here.” This is supposed to stimulate the g-spot. Eh, sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t. It’s one of those moves that everybody knows, but thinks that no one else does.

Men don’t realize that orgasms have very little to do with what they are doing to a woman’s vagina. The most important part of a female orgasm is mental.

And the easiest way to make her come? Tell her she’s pretty.

Women are insecure. And when we’re naked with you, we HATE ourselves.

“Oh God, does my ass feel flabby?” “If I lay on my back, my stomach looks flatter, but so do my boobs…” “What’s he thinking right now?” “Do I taste okay?” “My tits look stupid jiggling like this.” “Oh shit, oh shit, he just grabbed some fat on my waist!”

All of these thoughts, and a million more like them, are running through our minds when you’re on top of us. Any wonder it’s hard to concentrate on coming?

So tell us we’re pretty. Tell us how incredible we look when we’re riding you, how soft our skin is when you’re touching us. And tell us we look amazing when we come.

I’ve had a lot of sex. I’ve been with guys who were hung like horses and gnats, respectively. I’ve had crazy sex, vanilla sex, lesbian sex, group sex, and a million variations in between.

Want to know the best? The guy who looked at me with absolute awe after I came, and said “That was beautiful.”

Wow.

Some basics:

Do - Tell her how hot she makes you.
Don’t - Say “Your pussy feels so good,” unless dirty talking has already been agreed upon (or noticed) as something that gets her going. If your girl is on the frigid side, this will not help.

Do- Tell her she’s gorgeous when she comes. Tell her this when you’re not inside her too, like the next day, even the next week. It’ll pay off in the future.
Don’t - Say “Come for me, c’mon, I want you to come.” Way too much pressure if she’s not there yet. This is the fastest road to fake orgasm-ville.

(Don't even say this if you have made her orgasm before...Don't assume/freak out if it doesn't happen every time. You are still a man. And if you keep going, you'll be a man buying a house in fake orgasm-ville.)

Do - Talk about sex when you’re not in the bedroom. Be a grown up and discuss it patiently to discover likes and dislikes. And keep the compliments coming. A simple “You are so hot” at dinner (when she doesn’t think you’re angling for booty yet) can get you dessert.

Don’t - Be a jackass. If you have to ask “Was it good for you,” it wasn’t.


Coming Soon…The Karla Guide to Female Orgasms: For the Ladies!